so me and timothy are going to OD on vicodin and vodka. yeee get them V’s. I’ll probably go first so Tim can put on my clothes and pretend he’s me so he fulfills his life long dream.. kinda sad, but I’m a good friend.
(joke)
Alright.. An ex-muslim declared that he is no longer following Islam. He is found out to be an illegal alien in Great Britain. Becausw he publically renounced Islam, and is now being deported back to Afghanistan, he may now face death by stoning if the petition being circulated doesn’t get enough signatures. What a loving government. This is why a theocracy is the more evil than communism.
“capitalism and democracy are not synonymous”
I Hate the Final Destination Movies..
So my friend Tim almost pisses his pants everytime he watches these fucktarded movies. The same thing happens in every single movie! Alright, a bunch of goodlooking teenagers are either alone or with their significant other and they always do things that are seemingly dangerous. I.E “I’m going to go down this dark alley way just for kicks and then light a ciggarette when there’s oil surrounding me”. Stupid pricks. The only exception to the rule is when they die on roller coasters, although half the time its at some run down old carnival. Tim, go watch black hawk down<3
Liz from Wild Rivers
So I’m heading out to “The Cobra” with my friend Richard ( Lil Richard for short, but I refrained from calling him that because it reminded me too much of the flamboyent singer with the jerry curls) and it’s around 90 degrees outside. I’m about to go down the slide when Liz, apparently a senior at my high school, says she recognizes me. I have no idea who she is, haha. She’s really cute, but I already have an amazing girlfriend and Liz was more of Rich’s age. So we pretty much followed her around all day and she scored us free funnel cake. Alright, the funnel cake didn’t happen, but Rich got her number(: Which was kinda pointless considering that Rich lives in Wisconsin… haha
First Time Driving
I was driving my moms boyfriend’s truck, and I was eating funyons. Because I could not pick a single funyon out of the bag and hold onto the bag at the same time, and I needed at least one hand on the steering wheel, I preceded to dump the funyons out of the bag and into my mouth. I tilted my neck back in order to eat the funyons, which cause me to take my eyes of the road. I eventually started picking up speed and a crevice in the road cause the funyon that I was about to eat to slip out of my hand. My first impulse was to take my hands of the steering wheel and try to grab the funyon, risking the safety of everyone in the truck. That’s when I realized that my subconscious mind preferred a funyon over it’s own existence. Good stuff
Fuck the Queen
Why does England still have a constitutional monarchy? Fuck the queen. People shouldn’t be treated with respect just because they inherit a name and are presented with a title. Why should she have privelages that the common people don’t? When the monarchies were stripped of absolute authority, their titles should have been taken along with it. The people of England should wake the fuck up and realize that this bitch hasn’t done anything (other than being born) to deserve the fame, the wealth, or the 20 oz. steak she eats every night at her solid gold dinner table. Fuck tim
tiimtran
hilife
mistakesrepeated